Digging Deep

When I was 6 years old, I was diagnosed with a disease in my left hip called Legg Calve Perthes, which caused me to undergo fairly intensive treatment for two years. The good news was that by the time I was a teenager, the head of my femur had grown back pretty well, in the words of my physician, "about as good as could be expected."  However, I still had pain, and still do suffer with pain nearly 30 years later.

Chronic pain is no fun, even if it is not excruciating pain.  Constant low-level pain and muscle weakness can affect a person's daily life in ways that may not be very obvious.  Sometimes the physical pain is not as difficult as acknowledging that there is a deficiency.  I still tear up talking about the day that I was diagnosed and told that I needed to be admitted to the hospital.  That was hard.

Nine years ago, I saw a physician about the physical pain because I wanted to be assured that what I was feeling was not osteoarthritis.  At the time, I was told that the bone and cartilage looked like they were in good shape, but I could benefit from physical therapy to improve the tightness and muscle weakness, which was causing my pain.  I don't know why I didn't go to physical therapy at the time.  Looking back, I believe the underlying reason was that I didn't go was that I didn't want to deal with the emotional aspect of the pain. 

About a month ago, I decided I was finally going to go to physical therapy.  At my first appointment, I was an emotional wreck.  The pain was not as bad as my tears indicated, and I knew there were emotions that needed healing as much or more than my leg.  So far, the physical progress is going well.  I am being diligent about my exercises and my range of motion is improving and my pain is less on some days, but even when I am experience pain now, I can feel things are changing.

One of the things I read regarding Legg Calve Perthes disease is that one of the common effects is muscle atrophy in the hip joint.  Well, considering the muscle weakness that is present, I am quite sure this happened to me.

For all of these years, I have lived with this weakness, and "managed" it by compensating with my right leg.  I think this is common for us in other areas of our lives.  We compensate for our weaknesses or wounds rather than getting to the root of the issue. Compensating usually creates more dysfunction.

Healing can be easy and instantaneous, but it can also be hard work.  Perhaps a more complete healing comes when we are required to be honest about our vulnerabilities and willing to sacrifice.

Why Pray?

A little over a week ago, I had thought-provoking conversations with two groups of friends about prayer.  The first discussion was prompted by a sermon referencing the Lord's Prayer as a model for prayer. After reflecting more on these ideas, I felt like I had an "aha moment," so I thought I would write it here. 

During the first conversation my friend "G" asked a couple questions along these lines, "Why do we need to pray if God is already going to do what He is going to do?"   If God is omnipotent and omnipresent, it is unlikely that He needs our help to accomplish His will, so there must be other reasons for prayer.

I brought up the account in the book of Genesis where Abraham and God discuss the fate of Sodom.  It seems that Abraham was able to negotiate with God.  In the end, the city was destroyed because there were fewer than 10 righteous people there, but God spares Lot and his two daughters.  Although the city wasn't spared, God agreed with Abraham's desire that the righteous be spared destruction.  There are other cases where prayer changes the outcome.  We see Moses imploring that the Lord relent from His anger toward the Israelites, and God relents (Exodus 32:11-14).  Then there is Hezekiah who turns his face toward the wall and asks for his life to be extended, and God honors his request (2 Kings 20:1-11).  

Then there is the case of Jesus praying to the Father in the Garden asking for the cup to be taken from Him (Luke 22:39-46), but it was the Father's will for Jesus to die on the cross to take the penalty of sin for those who will believe on His name.  Jesus asks His disciples to watch and pray with Him, but they fall asleep.  What did He want them to be praying and why?

The Scriptures tell us to pray for the peace of Jerusalem.  Why do that if we know from the rest of the Bible that there will be trouble there?  I think it is to be praying in line with God's will, and that is the overall conclusion I realized from the discussions. 

We pray, not to tell God what we think He should do, but to listen to His voice and to be receptive to what He is saying to us.   We pray to communicate in a real way with the Creator of the universe.  How awesome is that!  If we want to be in God's will, then praying God's will from the Scripture is a good way to start.  Our hearts will continue to be molded into His image.

"Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." 

Out of the Pressure Cooker

My blogging life has been dormant for the past two years.  I was either busy or lazy.  After two years of a very intense work load, I was fortunate enough to have a good amount of time to enjoy the summer.  I really needed it.  I didn't realize how stressed I had been until the pressure had been released.  I feel like I can breathe again.  The best part is that before my vacation, I was able to hand off much of my work-load to a new hire.  Now, creativity is flowing, and I am excited to see what is ahead.  My list of ideas and projects is growing.   

A Real Live Miracle

I have recently had the privilege of seeing a miracle. A genuine, only-God, miracle. Here's what happened. Friends of mine were traveling from MN to WA to see their family when they ended up in a severe rollover. Three of the seven in the vehicle had to be life-flighted to hospitals. The injuries were life-threatening, but they all survived (miracle). Not only that, but the spinal injury to one individual was so severe that it usually results in paralysis, but today (two weeks after the crash) she is walking (miracle). There have been other miracles: swelling going down around the spinal cord in another individual, no brain injury in a third individual with head trauma, and no major injuries in a fourth who had tire tracks on her arm. It is all by the hand of the Lord.

In addition to that, those who were not in the crash have been deeply affected. Faith has been built up, hearts have turned to the Lord, relationships have been restored, and lives have been changed. Other families in the ICU waiting room have experienced the love of God and presence of the Holy Spirit through this family. Praise the Lord that what was meant for evil, God will turn to good.

This incident brought me to my knees in prayer in a deeper way as well. I am so encouraged by the many miraculous answers to prayers. Seeing the body of Messiah coming together is so powerful. I continue to pray for wholeness and healing. May the Lord bring about restoration to this family, physically and emotionally, for His glory. I am in awe.

Trumpet Blasts

I felt like the Lord gave me a new insight this past Yom Teruah. This time when I heard the trumpets blown at the service, I was struck by the fact that there were numerous trumpet blasts and not just one. The way that we typically talk about Yom Teruah (day of blowing) is that it is a way to train our ears to hear the trumpet blast when Jesus (Yeshua) will return. However, the Scriptures say He will return at the last trumpet. I believe we are in a period of time where we are hearing multiple trumpets being blown, calling people to repent and turn to the Lord. We do not know when the last trumpet will be blown, so we need to be ready when the final call is made and the Lord returns in the air. Today is the day of grace. Turn to the Lord now before it is too late.

Feet first into hell?

This morning as I was walking to my office, I walked past a sign that said, "ODST, Feet First into Hell." Then there were some stanchions set up for a line to form. Three people were in lawn chairs waiting by the door. I was shocked. People were waiting in line to go feet first into Hell? Why?

I started praying for them. When I got to my office, I thought, "I should go talk to them and ask them why they are there." I made my way back (only two were there when I got there). I told them that I saw the sign and was wondering why they wanted to be in a line to go "feet first into hell." They then informed me that this was the line for the release of the new Halo game. What kind of marketing slogan is that?

I then told these men that I know a way to go straight to heaven: through Jesus. "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9).

Maybe they thought I was a bit crazy, but I don't care. "For I am not ashamed of the Gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek." (Romans 1:16)

The Romans 11 Challenge

After our recent congregational retreat, I felt challenged to memorized Romans 11. I started on September 1, with a goal to memorize one verse per day. It has gone pretty well, but I am one day behind, so I better catch up. It has been a while since I have memorized a longer passage of Scripture, but I find it to be so beneficial. Letting Scripture go down deep strengthens a person's mind and spirit (and maybe even body). If you want to join the challenge, here is the passage.

Rom 11:1-36 ESV
(1) I ask, then, has God rejected his people? By no means! For I myself am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham, a member of the tribe of Benjamin.
(2) God has not rejected his people whom he foreknew. Do you not know what the Scripture says of Elijah, how he appeals to God against Israel?
(3) "Lord, they have killed your prophets, they have demolished your altars, and I alone am left, and they seek my life."
(4) But what is God's reply to him? "I have kept for myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal."
(5) So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace.
(6) But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.
(7) What then? Israel failed to obtain what it was seeking. The elect obtained it, but the rest were hardened,
(8) as it is written, "God gave them a spirit of stupor, eyes that would not see and ears that would not hear, down to this very day."
(9) And David says, "Let their table become a snare and a trap, a stumbling block and a retribution for them;
(10) let their eyes be darkened so that they cannot see, and bend their backs forever."
(11) So I ask, did they stumble in order that they might fall? By no means! Rather through their trespass salvation has come to the Gentiles, so as to make Israel jealous.
(12) Now if their trespass means riches for the world, and if their failure means riches for the Gentiles, how much more will their full inclusion mean!
(13) Now I am speaking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch then as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry
(14) in order somehow to make my fellow Jews jealous, and thus save some of them.
(15) For if their rejection means the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance mean but life from the dead?
(16) If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches.
(17) But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree,
(18) do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you.
(19) Then you will say, "Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in."
(20) That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but stand in awe.
(21) For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you.
(22) Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God's kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off.
(23) And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again.
(24) For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted back into their own olive tree.
(25) Lest you be wise in your own conceits, I want you to understand this mystery, brothers: a partial hardening has come upon Israel, until the fullness of the Gentiles has come in.
(26) And in this way all Israel will be saved, as it is written, "The Deliverer will come from Zion, he will banish ungodliness from Jacob";
(27) "and this will be my covenant with them when I take away their sins."
(28) As regards the gospel, they are enemies of God for your sake. But as regards election, they are beloved for the sake of their forefathers.
(29) For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.
(30) Just as you were at one time disobedient to God but now have received mercy because of their disobedience,
(31) so they too have now been disobedient in order that by the mercy shown to you they also may now receive mercy.
(32) For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all.
(33) Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
(34) "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?"
(35) "Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?"
(36) For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

Getting some rest

Last January I came down with pneumonia. It really knocked me down physically, I was in bed for two weeks and on shortened days for the third week. It was a forced staycation. In between the coughing, I slept, read books, and checked out Facebook. I had some difficulty staying in bed, but I had no other option but to rest. However, one good thing came out of the midst of that trial. I learned the importance of getting sleep.

College and graduate school ruined my sleep. I became very accustomed to staying up very late, working around the clock, and cramming as much work into as little sleep as possible. The habit was very hard to break, and it wasn't until I got pneumonia that I realized how harmful bad sleeping habits can be. I decided that I was going to make a concerted effort to get more sleep. However, it wasn't until June that I really put this into practice (I decided to try to be in bed before midnight--targeting between 10 and 11 pm). I have been able to keep this habit going (with only a few random nights staying up into the wee hours of the morning).

What are the results? Well I actually feel better, more alert, and less irritable (that is good for others). I get tired earlier, and it is hard for me to stay up so late. Life seems to be a little more manageable. Funny how it took so many years to realize that God's order of evening and morning at creation (rest and then awake) works the best.